How To Make People Do What You Want: The Ultimate Influence & Persuasion Guide

It’s a question as old as time itself: how do you make people do what you want? And while the answer is undoubtedly complex, there are a few basic principles that can help get things moving in the right direction. In this ultimate guide to persuasion, we’ll break down everything you need to know about getting people to fall in line. From understanding human nature, to using common persuasive tactics, to mastering the art of negotiation and compromise – we’ve got you covered. So whether you’re looking to get someone to change their mind on an important issue, or just trying to get them to do something they don’t really want to do – read on for all the tips and tricks you need!

The basics of influence and how to use them

Anyone who wants to be successful in business and life must master the art of influence. At its most basic level, influence is the ability to get others to do what you want them to do. However, it is not always as simple as giving orders. To be truly influential, you must first gain the trust and respect of those around you. Only then will they be willing to follow your lead. There are many ways to build trust, but one of the most effective is simply being genuine and honest with others. Once you have established trust, you can begin to exert influence by sharing your vision for the future and showing others how their actions can help to achieve it.

The power of persuasion and how to use it

Whether we realize it or not, we are constantly engaging in persuasion. Whether we’re trying to convince our boss to give us a raise, or simply trying to get our children to eat their vegetables, persuasion is a skill that can be incredibly useful in many different situations. But what exactly is persuasion? And how can we use it to our advantage?

Persuasion can be defined as the act of convincing someone to do or believe something. This can be done through various methods, such as rhetoric, flattery, and even manipulation. While persuasion is often used in a negative light, it can actually be a powerful tool for good. For example, convincing someone to vote for a candidate who will fight for important social reforms.

Manipulation vs. influence – what’s the difference?

Many people use the terms “manipulation” and “influence” interchangeably, but in reality, they are two very different things. Manipulation is often done with ulterior motives – the manipulator seeks to gain something by controlling or manipulating the other person. Influence, on the other hand, is more about trying to persuade someone to see things your way or make a decision that you believe is in their best interests. When you’re influential, you’re not seeking to control or exploit the other person; you’re simply trying to share your point of view and hopefully get them to see things your way. In short, manipulation is about control, while influence is about persuasion.

What does it mean to influence others?

To influence others is to have an impact on their thoughts, feelings, or behavior. This can be done in a positive or negative way. For example, you might use your influence to convince someone to vote, sign up for a charity event, or make a financial donation. Alternatively, you might use your influence to convince someone to engage in risky behavior, such as using drugs or driving recklessly. The ability to influence others is often seen as a valuable skill, and many people strive to develop their ability to influence others in a positive way. There are a number of techniques that can be used to influence others, such as persuasion, manipulation, and coercion.

Is influencing a skill?

Whether or not influencing is a skill is a complicated question with no easy answer. On the one hand, it could be argued that influencing is more of an innate quality than a skill. After all, some people seem to have a natural ability to persuade others, while others struggle to get their point across. On the other hand, it could be argued that influencing is a skill that can be learned. After all, even the most gifted communicators had to learn how to craft a compelling argument and deliver it in an effective way. In the end, whether or not influencing is a skill is dependent on your perspective.

Influencing Techniques


Legitimating tactics. This technique suggests that basing your request on one’s authority or right, organizational rules and policies or express approvals from superior(s) is a good way to get what you need!

Rational Persuasion

A technique used to convince someone with sound reasoning, facts and figures or replicas of what you are trying to get across.

Inspirational Appeals

Your messages should be short, encouraging and inspiring. A good way of doing this is by appealing to emotions with feelings-based messaging such as “you’re awesome! nobody else does __ like you do it better than me!”


Consultation is a great way to get people involved in the process and make sure they are happy with the decisions.


The practice of making promises to get someone on your side, or in return for some sort-of favor.

Personal Appeals

Personal appeals are a great way to get someone on your side. You can use all of those flattery words like “dear” and say things about how they make you feel in order for them not only to understand what’s happening but also want the same thing as well!


One of the most effective ways to get someone in a good mood is with humor. Humor can be used as either praise or flattery, depending on what’s needed at that time; it also makes people feel better about themselves when they’re feeling down-and this will encourage them help you out!


Pressure is a great way to get what you want. It can be applied through threats or by being demanding, and intimidated into compliance with your demands!


Coalition tactics are an important part of any persuasive effort. The goal is for you and your allies to get others on board with the idea that theirs might be a better way forward, or at least not opposed so greatly they can’t see reason–and this requires some creativity!

Show Interest To People

When it comes to interacting with others, it is often said that it is important to show interest in the other person. This is because, by demonstrating that we are interested in what they have to say, we are more likely to gain their trust and influence them. There are a number of ways to show interest in someone, such as making eye contact, nodding your head, and asking questions about what they are saying. Additionally, it is important to be an active listener, which means giving the person your full attention and responding thoughtfully to what they are saying. By taking the time to listen and show genuine interest in others, we can improve our chances of influencing them in a positive way.

Listen Intently

Many people believe that the ability to influence others is a natural talent that cannot be learned. However, the truth is that anyone can learn how to be more influential, and one of the best ways to do so is by becoming a better listener. When you take the time to really listen to someone, it shows that you value their opinions and ideas. As a result, they are more likely to trust you and be open to hearing what you have to say. Additionally, active listening can help you to gather important information and build deeper relationships. So, the next time you find yourself in a conversation, make sure to really listen to what the other person has to say. You may be surprised at how much your influence increases.

Provide a piece of value

Providing a piece of value is an Influencing Technique that you can use to increase your chances of getting what you want from someone. When you provide value, you’re essentially giving the other person something that they want or need in exchange for something that you want. For example, let’s say that you’re trying to convince your boss to give you a raise. You could provide them with value by offering to do some extra work or by taking on a new project. By doing this, you’re showing them that you’re willing to put in the extra effort and that you’re capable of handling more responsibility.

Give Compliments

Giving compliments is an easy way to influence others. When we give someone a compliment, we are effectively telling them that we appreciate them or something they have done. This makes the other person feel good, which in turn makes them more likely to reciprocate the sentiment. In other words, giving compliments can create a positive feedback loop that helps to build relationships and foster trust. Moreover, compliments can be used to achieve specific goals. For example, if you want someone to do you a favor, praising their skills or abilities is a great way to increase the likelihood that they will comply. In short, giving compliments is an effective means of influencing others and achieving desired outcomes.

Build A Rapport

Rapport is defined as a close and harmonious relationship in which the people or groups concerned are “in sync” with each other, understand each other’s feelings or ideas, and communicate smoothly. Interestingly, building rapport is not only an essential part of effective communication, but it is also a powerful influencing technique. Research has shown that people are more likely to comply with requests from someone with whom they have rapport. In fact, rapport is such a strong influencing factor that it can even override basic laws of human behavior, such as the law of self-preservation. Simply put, when we like and trust someone, we are more likely to follow their lead.

Just Ask

When you want to influence someone, asking questions is a powerful technique. By asking questions, you can get the other person to think about what you want them to think about. And by doing so, you increase the chances that they will come to the conclusion that you want them to reach. Of course, there are right and wrong ways to ask questions. If you’re too direct, the other person will likely feel defensive and be less likely to listen to what you have to say. But if you ask the right questions in the right way, you can subtly guide the other person to see things your way.

Be Brave

Being brave is not only an admirable trait, but it can also be an influential technique. When we see someone else being brave, it can inspire us to act with courage ourselves. This is especially true when we witness someone overcoming adversity or taking a stand for something they believe in. By being brave, we give others permission to do the same. We show them that it is possible to face our fears and come out on the other side. In this way, bravery can be contagious. So the next time you are feeling scared or uncertain, remember that your bravery may have a ripple effect, inspiring others to be courageous as well.


So, what have we learned? First and foremost, that people are not always as rational as we might hope. In order to get them to do what you want, it’s important to understand their motivations and appeal to their emotions. Secondly, understanding how the brain works can give you clues as to how best persuade someone. Finally, using the right language is key – making sure your words match the context and resonate with your audience. Armed with this knowledge, you should be able to successfully persuade just about anyone! What techniques will you try first?