We all love food, right? And we all enjoy a good laugh, too? So why not combine the two and enjoy some hilarious jokes about food? Without further ado, here are 125 of the best food jokes out there. Seriously, these will have you rolling on the floor with laughter!
Table of contents
- Five Funny Jokes about Fruits
- Five Funny Jokes about Vegetables
- Five Funny Jokes about Meats
- Five Funny Jokes about Seafood
- Five Funny Jokes about Dairy
- Five Funny Jokes about Grains
- Five Funny Jokes about Nuts & Seeds
- Five Funny Jokes about Beans & Legumes
- Five Funny Jokes about Oils & Fats
- Five Funny Jokes about Spices & Herbs
- Five Funny Jokes about Sweeteners
- Five Funny Jokes about Snacks
- Five Funny Jokes about Coffee & Tea
- Five Funny Jokes about Condiments & Sauces
- Five Funny Jokes about Desserts
- Five Funny Jokes about Baby Food
- Five Funny Jokes about Pet Food
- Five Funny Jokes about Soup
- Five Funny Jokes about Salad
- Five Funny Jokes about Side Dishes
- Five Funny Jokes about Baked Goods
- Five Funny Jokes about Candy & Chocolate
- Five Funny Jokes about Canned Goods
- Five Funny Jokes about Frozen Foods
- Five Funny Jokes about Packaged Foods
Five Funny Jokes about Fruits
1. Why did the banana go to the doctor?
Because he wasn’t peeling well.
2. What do you call a dancing apple?
A jolly fruit!
3. How do you catch a runaway watermelon?
You tie it down with a grape!
4. How does a grape stop a fight?
He just lets out a little wine!
5. What’s the difference between a fruit and a vegetable?
You can’t dance with a vegetable!
Five Funny Jokes about Vegetables
1. Why did the tomato blush?
Because it saw the salad dressing!
2. Why did the cucumber look embarrassed?
Because it was in a pickle!
3. Why did the celery stutter?
Because it was lacking in vitamin C!
4. Why did the pumpkin go to the therapist?
Because it was afraid it would turn into a squash!
5. Why did the potato cross the road?
To get to the other side!
Five Funny Jokes about Meats
1. How do you make a meatloaf? You put two pigs in a blender!
2. I’m not saying that I don’t like meat, but I do prefer my food to be dead.
3. I asked the butcher for 5 pounds of ground beef and he gave me an angry look. So I said, “Fine, give me 4 pounds then.”
4. I was going to make myself a steak for dinner, but then I realized that would be cannibalism.
5. I love meat, but sometimes I feel like I’m eating myself.
Five Funny Jokes about Seafood
1. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
2. How does a fish know it’s raining? It sees the wet weather outside.
3. What’s a fish’s favorite TV show? Shark Week!
4.What does a fish say when it hits a concrete wall? Dam!
5. Q: What’s the best way to describe it when a fish is fresh?
A: “It’s still swimming!”
Five Funny Jokes about Dairy
1. How do you make a dairy cow float?
With root beer and ice cream!
2. Why did the dairy farmer bring a black and white cow to town?
He wanted to make some chocolate milk!
3. How does a dairy farmer count his cows?
With a cow-culator!
4. Why are dairy cows always so happy?
Because they get to eat ice cream all day!
5. What do you call a dairy cow with two stomachs?
A dairy dupe!
Five Funny Jokes about Grains
1. What do you call a grains of sand?
2. Why did the farmer plant his grains in rows?
So he could hoe them off later!
3. Why are grains so nutritious?
Because they’re full of wheat!
4. How many grains does it take to fill up a bathtub?
A whole grain-bath!
5. Q. What do you call a grain that’s been hit by a car?
A. A flour!
Five Funny Jokes about Nuts & Seeds
1. What do you call a squirrel with no nuts?
A cuckoo nut!
2. Why are cashews never lonely?
Because they’re always in pairs!
3. How do you catch a Department of Nutritional Sciences student?
In a trap, baited with nuts and seeds!
4. Why did the peanut go to the party?
Because he was a-nutted!
5. What do you call a nut with a dirty mind?
Five Funny Jokes about Beans & Legumes
1. I asked my daughter what she wanted for dinner and she said, “Beans, beans, the musical fruit.” So, I sang her the song and she threw up.
2. Why are beans so happy?
Because they’re always on a high protein diet
3.Why don’t ghosts like beans?
Because they give them terrible gas
4.What do you call a bean that’s been pickled?
5. How do you make a bean stop?
You take away its coffee!
Five Funny Jokes about Oils & Fats
1. If oils are made from olives, and fats are made from animals, what does baby oil come from?
2. My wife asked me to get some olive oil from the grocery store, so I got her some oils and fats.
3. I was going to make a salad dressing with olive oil and balsamic vinegar, but then I realized that would just be a vinaigrette.
4. What’s the difference between butter and margarine? I can’t imagine anyone being Margarinely offended by this joke.
5. What do you call oils and fats that are in a relationship? Monounsaturated.
Five Funny Jokes about Spices & Herbs
1. Why did the herb go to jail? Because he was caught with thyme!
2. Why did the sage break up with his girlfriend? Because she wasn’t thymely!
3. Why are spices so messy? Because they’re always cumin and going!
4. Why did the spice rack collapse? Because all of the spices fell out!
5. Why did the Rosemary turn down all her suitors? Because she was sage!
Five Funny Jokes about Sweeteners
1. Why did the sweetener go to jail?
Because he was a sucralose offender!
2. Why did the sweetener break up with his girlfriend?
Because she was too artificial for him!
3. Why did the sweetener go out with the salt shaker?
Because they were a perfect match!
4. Why was the sweetener so mad at the sugar?
Because the sugar stole its thunder!
5. How do you catch a sweetener?
With a honeytrap!
Five Funny Jokes about Snacks
1.Why did the cookie go to the hospital?
Because he was feeling crummy!
2. Why did the pretzel stick his tongue out at the other snacks?
Because he was a little salty!
3. Why didn’t the doughnut want to play with the other snacks?
Because he was feeling a hole lot!
4. Why did the banana split?
Because he was feeling a little nutty!
5. Why did the cracker go to the party?
Because he was crackin’ up!
Five Funny Jokes about Coffee & Tea
1. Why did the coffee file a police report? Because it was mugged!
2. How many coffee beans does it take to make a cup of coffee? Two, one to make the coffee and one to complain about how bad the coffee is.
3. Why did the coffee date have to end early?
Because the coffee was too hot and the tea was too cold!
4. Coffee and tea are like episode of Game of Thrones: you never know which one is going to kill you.
5. I’m pretty sure coffee and tea are the two main food groups.
Five Funny Jokes about Condiments & Sauces
1. Why did the mayonnaise turn white?
Because it was frightened!
2. What do you call a condiment that’s been crying?
A tearful onion!
3. What do you get when you mix ketchup and mustard?
A close condiment family!
4. Why don’t you ever see baby condiments?
Because they’re always at sauce!
5. Why did the BBQ sauce turn himself in?
Because he was on a mission!
Five Funny Jokes about Desserts
1. Why did the chocolate cake go to therapy?
Because it was feeling glum and a little down in the batter.
2. Why couldn’t the cupcake go out on a date?
Because he was already taken by someone else!
3. Why did the Cookie Monster have to see a therapist?
Because he was having trouble dealing with his Oatmeal Raisin issues.
4. Why did the pie go to the doctor?
Because it wasn’t feeling crusty.
5. What kind of cake do you get from a sick cow?
Five Funny Jokes about Baby Food
1. I’m not saying that giving your baby food is easy, but it’s a lot easier than giving them a bath.
2. If you’re ever feeling down, just remember that there’s someone out there who’s trying to feed their baby and they can’t even get the food in their mouth.
3. A woman was at a dinner party and she started talking to the man next to her about their children. She said, “My son is seven months old and he’s already eating baby food.” The man said, “That’s nothing. My son is two years old and he’s still eating baby food.”
4. A friend of mine is a new father, and he was telling me about how he’s been feeding his son baby food. He said, “I just put the food in my mouth and then act like I’m eating it. He seems to like it.”
5. I asked my daughter what she wanted for breakfast and she said, “Baby food.” So I opened up a can of peas and ate them.
Five Funny Jokes about Pet Food
1. How many dogs does it take to make a pound of kibble? Just one, but it takes a lot of barking!
2. What’s a dog’s favorite type of pet food? Anything that’s free!
3. You know your pet food is fresh when it starts moving on its own.
4. My dog always begs for food, but he’s never satisfied. I think he’s just a little bit hungry.
5. I’m really not sure what my dog likes to eat the most. Probably anything that isn’t nailed down!
Five Funny Jokes about Soup
1. A man walks into a restaurant and orders a bowl of soup. The waiter brings him the soup, but instead of eating it, the man just stares at it for a few minutes. The waiter asks if everything is alright, and the man says, “I’m waiting for the flies to leave.”
2. A woman goes to her doctor and tells him that she’s having trouble digesting her food. After a few tests, the doctor diagnosed her with a rare condition called “soup mouth.”
3. A man goes to a psychic and she tells him that he will meet his soulmate in a month. He’s thrilled and asks her what she sees for him in the meantime. She replies, “I see you eating a lot of soup.”
4. A woman goes to a witch doctor and he tells her that she has been cursed and the only way to break the curse is to eat a bowl of soup made from the bones of a black cat. The woman is horrified and asks if there’s any other way to break the curse. The witch doctor replies, “No, but it doesn’t have to be a whole bowl – you could just have a few spoonfuls.”
5. A group of friends are sitting around drinking soup and one of them says, “This soup tastes like water.” Another friend says, “That’s because it is water – we’re out of soup.”
Five Funny Jokes about Salad
1 .Why did the salad go out with the cucumber?
Because he was a total stud-muffin!
2 .Why did the romaine lettuce break up with the croutons?
Because they were always arguing over who was the dressing’s best friend!
3.How does a rabbi make a salad?
He uses kosher dressing!
4. How do you make a Caesar salad? You kidnap a chef!
5. Why did the salad say “No thanks, I’m full?” Because it was already dressed!
Five Funny Jokes about Side Dishes
1. I asked my wife what she wanted for dinner and she said “I don’t care, I’ll just have whatever is on the side.”
2. My wife asked me why I was eating my dinner so fast and I told her I was afraid the side dish would run out.
3. I was at a restaurant and the waiter asked me if I wanted the special of the day. I told him I was just there for the side dishes.
4. My favorite side dish is my pillow.
5. What do you call a side dish that’s always hungry? A bottomless pit!
Five Funny Jokes about Baked Goods
1. How does a baker keep his gingerbread house from falling apart?
He uses “dough” glues.
2. What type of bread do you use to make a snowman?
3. How do you make a Swiss Roll?
You push him down a hill.
4. What did the croissant say to the other baked goods?
“It’s tough being flaky.”
5. Why did the doughnut go to bed early? Because it was feeling glazed over!
Five Funny Jokes about Candy & Chocolate
1. Why did the boy put his candy in the freezer?
Because he wanted cold hard cash!
2. Q: What did the chocolate say to the peanut butter?
A: “Get out of my face, I’m sick of your candy!”
3. Why did the candy bar go to couples therapy? Because it was feeling Snickers!
4. What did one chocolate say to the other?
Nothing, they just smiled at each other because they knew that they were delicious!
5. Why did the boy put a piece of candy under his pillow?
Because he wanted sweet dreams!
Five Funny Jokes about Canned Goods
1. What do you call a can of soup that’s been in the fridge for a year? Souptember!
2. How do you fix a serious leak in a canned ham? Use tape… or else you might have a Spam problem!
3. What did the mother can of soup say to the little can of soup? Don’t be such a little cansketeer!
4. What did the mother can of soup say to the little can of soup? Don’t be such a little cansketeer!
5. Why did the can of green beans refuse to go on a date with the can of carrots? Because they were not in a can-do relationship!
Five Funny Jokes about Frozen Foods
1. I was going to make a joke about frozen food, but I couldn’t think of one that was cold enough.
2. If you want your frozen food to last longer, just put it in the fridge.
3. I put my food in the freezer for two reasons: so it will last longer and so I can eat it in front of people I don’t like.
4. I’m not saying that your frozen food is gross, but it is definitely a science experiment at this point.
5. Your frozen food is so old, even the freezer feels like it’s time to let it go.
Five Funny Jokes about Packaged Foods
1. Packaged foods are the perfect way to get your daily recommended serving of preservatives.
2. Nothing says “I love you” like a heart-shaped box of chocolates… that’s been sitting on the shelf for months.
3. If you’re looking for a healthy snack, don’t bother with those packaged fruit bars–they’re just candy in disguise.
4. Don’t be fooled by the healthy sounding names on some packaged foods–they’re usually just as unhealthy as the junk food they’re imitating.
5. Save yourself the money and skip the packaged diet foods– they’re not worth the money or the calories.
So, the next time you’re feeling a little down and need a laugh, pull up this list of 125 food jokes that will have you giggling in no time. And don’t worry – we promise they’re all actually funny! What’s your favorite food joke? Let us know in the comments below.